A Whole 'Nother Country

I'm heading in the southbound lane

Away from all I know

To find a brand of happiness

That I can call my own.

I'm heading in the southbound lane

To chart my life's new course

But I keep meeting my heart head-on

'Cause it's going back north.

Almost 40 years ago — man! I can't even believe I can say things like that, much less realize I was already 21 then — in 1971, I moved. Vietnam War protests on campuses everywhere had shortened the semester; we'd shut down the college. Chris and I had gone to Padre Island with four of our Columbian Connection friends for spring break. I'd done my student teaching in Spanish at Lee's Summit High School, under my old Spanish teacher. I graduated from MU but skipped the ceremony, thank you.

It was time to go.

This was maybe the first time I did something truly nutty — at least that I remember — and it was big. As big as Texas. I decided I would move to Austin to live. I had grown up on horses and wanted to be able to ride more than 6 months out of the year, and I was sick of Missouri winters. I had no car, no job, no money, and didn't know a soul in Austin. But Mom did. At least she had a car and a good friend, PK, whom she'd gone to college with at UT. And I guess she had some money, because she and Dad paid for everything. Not that I gave that a thought then.

So for some weird reason, they let me go. Maybe they figured they couldn't stop me. I'm not sure. Anyway, she drove me and LL, a college friend who decided she'd go spend the summer with me in Texas, to Austin. With my dog, Sadie. I remember that drive very clearly, and writing that chorus above. I was torn, because everyone I loved was in Missouri, but I was also determined.

It must have pained Mom greatly, but she left us there in an apartment with a beagle to feed and no jobs. They shipped my stuff down to me on a moving van. I tried to get work teaching Spanish, but they had lots of native speakers; who needed me. Besides, I don't think I was overly motivated. So LL and I drove an ice-cream truck. Transportation, income, and meals all in one! What a deal.

That was the beginning of my huge, long, enduring love affair with Texas. Chris says it started when we drove through on spring break; she's probably right. She has a much better memory about things than I do. All I really remember about that is it was the first time I saw an "ocean," and I learned I don't like them. We had fun...among the jellyfish and tar and constantly blowing wind and sand. The Gulf of Mexico is a sewer.

Sorry; I digress. I'd gone from Minnesota to Missouri to Texas — a line drawn south that has repeated throughout my life. From Texas I went to Colorado; back to Missouri; back to Texas; to Kentucky; to Missouri; to Texas; to Colorado. I'm telling this because if you trace those points in sequence on a map, it ends up looking like a giant arrow shooting straight into Texas.

It's a magnet for my soul, and I expect I'll go back someday to stay. Maybe just as ashes. My dad's ashes are there; some of Mom's. Lots of people I love still there. I'll be in good company. I'll be home.

But not for at least 40 more years! The ashes part, I mean.

Oh. I never got a horse again.