Tuesday, August 31, 2010

High or Low; Hug or Blow

Life can smack you in the face
Anytime, anyplace
Something good or something bad
Makes you happy, turns you sad
And honestly, you never know
How or when your life will go.

Janet, my friend and writing partner of 20+ years, was just diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer. She's 53.

She'd been complaining of severe back pain that just kept getting worse, until she couldn't work and became virtually incapacitated with pain. She's not a complainer, so I knew it had to be bad.

An MRI showed a shattered vertebrae, with lesions on her pelvis and her liver. A scan showed breast cancer. Oh, and she'd had a breast lump for some time that she had ignored while attempting to find health insurance.

She said that looking back, she realizes one of her cats had tried to warn her. He had unexpectedly jumped up on her chest and nipped at the cancerous breast. She was stunned because it was so uncharacteristic of him.

Looking back, she now understands why she couldn't get motivated to write on our stuff even when she had time away from her freelance work.

Looking back. With too many unpleasant things now to look forward to. She sees an oncologist this week and will have to miss her niece's wedding because she can hardly move.

She lives in Texas, so I'll go there whenever she wants me to come. She's in charge now of what she wants to do when she knows the options. But I'll also go there when I feel the time is right, no matter what she says.

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Sunday, August 1, 2010

More Stuff About Stuff


She has a hole in her soul
That she tries to stuff with stuff.
But no matter how much stuff she gets
It never is enough.


It's hard to convince other people that you really, really don't want any more stuff — no matter how nice it is. Because they love stuff, and they love you, and they love to give you stuff.

And when they give you neat stuff anyway and you like it, it makes it even harder to convince them that you really didn't want it in the first place.

And suddenly, you have even more stuff you will eventually have to get rid of — and feel guilty about doing it because it's neat stuff that someone you love gave you.

And then there's the existential problem: sometimes you need stuff, so you do want it. Or you do decide you want something, and so you violate your own stuff message and "rules."

As Chris would say, "If you have neat stuff, just relax."

Don't sweat the small stuff.

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